Silly Preggo

February 23, 2010

Despite the numerous (and, I’m sure, legitimate) warnings that pregnant women should stay away from harsh chemicals, I decided that yesterday was the perfect time to remove the mildew that has been gradually accumulating on our bathroom ceiling. With bleach.

To say my plan was poorly thought-out is an understatement. I headed in there with a 50/50 solution of water and Clorox in an old yogurt container, as well as a sponge, but not before emptying out two nearly full bottles of Windex (my initial plan had been to spray rather than scrub the ceiling, but I did eventually come to my senses – sort of).

Suited up just like the professionals, in a black velour bathrobe and a pair of white tennis socks, I began my scrubbing and was happy to see the mildew quickly disappearing. I was less happy to see the drips of bleach removing scattered spots of color from my black robe. So I took it off.

I am now standing in the tub scrubbing the bathroom ceiling – 5 months pregnant, mind you – and naked but for my tennis socks, which I kept on because they are white and impervious to bleach drips. The windows, of course, are tightly closed (nothing like the combination of bleach fumes and poor ventilation), but I did have the presence of mind to turn the bathroom fan on.

I took just one additional break, when a bleach drip got on my glasses and I stopped to clean them off. I thought it would be a shame to blind myself before ever seeing the new baby. Later on, I used a Sharpie to color in the bleach drips on my robe – I am nothing if not resourceful.

But poor Olive. 19 years of formal education clearly did nothing to instill a base level of common sense in her mom.

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