Fun Stuff To Look Forward To

January 22, 2010

Yesterday, a friend (who shall remain nameless) regaled me with a tale of what has to be, on a misery-per-minute basis, one of the most awful flights ever.

She was on a one-hour jaunt from Minneapolis to Chicago with her husband, her tiny daughter, and her five-year-old son. The son steadfastly refused to go potty before the flight. As the plane was making its final descent into Chicago, her son revealed in no uncertain terms that he needed to go potty right now.

My friend and her husband, knowing that today’s post-9/11 flight attendants wouldn’t hesitate to beat the living daylights out of Mother Teresa herself if she tried to leave her seat during final descent, told their son he had to be strong and hang on just a little while longer. (Tiny daughter, meanwhile, was in the throes of a bad cold and screaming bloody murder due to the fluctuating cabin pressure.)

Eventually, the poor little guy could hold out no longer, announcing at the top of his lungs that “I’m peeing in my pants RIGHT NOW!” Needless to say, it was not an ideal day in the friendly skies. The one silver lining was that the flight attendants were relatively unfazed by the fate of seat 10B; as the seat cushions can be used as flotation devices, they are relatively impervious to liquids of all sorts.

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